A fair amount of that porn focuses on butts. If a man thinks of a woman as a treasure to be acquired, a pricey and valuable toy, then booty becomes a double entendre. Lead a double life, honoring women as humans, in your day to day activities. Often, in part because as the toy gets older the man has less incentive to continue working to grow together. Marry young when your toyhood is in its prime, and stay married through thick and thin.
Have a plan B that feels good enough to shift into position as Plan A should your partner depart. Yet many of us harbor an obsession with backsides and many a psychologist has had a field day wondering why we care so much about them. Your butt is yours, high or low. His fascination with her as a toy subsidized his commitment to her and then the subsidy ends. Even celebrate it as many men do. Earning their own income, women today are freer to leave when a man stops showing sufficient respect. Then consider what to do about it. Seeing women in these two ways must confuse the bejesus out of them, raising challenging questions about the best life strategy for living around and with us. They see yours and not theirs. Women are equals, we think, so love is between two consenting adults both free to leave should the spirit move them. Men would stay post toyhood, and still do. The more a man sees a woman as an object or toy the more respect he shows but the less respect he feels. Eventually both you and your partner will be so domesticated to each other that parting becomes implausible, a reason to stay together and appreciate each others humanness. A courtship that may have started with infatuation with the woman as toy, grows into a deeper more sustainable bond, two people seeing each other as human beings loving each other for more sustainable reasons. Without configuring mirrors just right or years of practicing yoga bends so you can look closely behind you, you barely know your butt. Men today have access to free porn in overwhelming quantity. Very rarely do any of us, male or female, leave respect and affirmation shown to us un-embraced despite our best efforts to discipline ourselves to think about whether the respect shown is trustworthy and authentic. Even the prettiest young woman sees men leaving their wives for younger women, always with some explanation. Women were dependent on men for income, which made it harder and more cruel to divorce them. Lead a double life, honoring women as humans, in your day to day activities. I see four basic strategies available to women: Most appreciate and even gravitate toward it, trying to sustain it as long as they can. On the one hand women are human beings. Never respond to toy-flattery. The boundary between the two if there even is one is drawn through terra incognita.
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